What We Don't Say
by just jen
Summary: Anime canon, alternative ending. What if Harhui never caught up with Tamaki and Eclair? Through e-mails, photos and letters, the Host Club try to say something meaningful to each other. (Formatting issues should be fixed now, making it easier to follow.)


From: Haninozuka Mitskune

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: May 7th

Subject: Hi!

Hi Tama-chan!

I can't believe it's been two whole months since we saw you last! How's France? Did you get the postcards Takashi and I sent you from Sydney? Shima-san said she'd forward them on to you. Our vacation-time flew by – it was a little sad to go back home and start packing for college, but now we're settled in and getting on with our studies.

The university is so different to Ouran – so many people! I've had fun getting to know my new classmates, although it's strange being in different classes to Takashi. We still see each other every day, of course – we're living in one of the Morinozuka properties close to the university. But we're making lots of new friends. Are you making new friends in France? I hope so! Or maybe you've re-connected with your old friends from when you used to live there? Is your new home close to where you used to live? You never did tell us.

I've attached some pictures of me and Takashi – some from our vacation in Sydney and some from last week – Takashi had a match with the college kendo club and afterwards we got to go to the club captain's apartment for a victory party!

I hope you're doing okay, Tama-chan. Please e-mail back.

And Takashi says hi!

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: May 18th

Subject: Updates

Hi, Tama-chan,

I guess you're still busy settling in to your new home. What's your school like in France? I'd love to see pictures – I bet the buildings aren't as pretty as Ouran. But Takashi says the French countryside is as pretty as Japan. Do you see much of the countryside? Or is your new home closer to the city? Please tell me all about it, Tama-chan!

Have you heard anything from the rest of the Host Club? I sometimes talk to Haru-chan on the phone, and I know she e-mails Takashi. Have you heard from her? She seems really busy at school this year.

Takashi and I are planning our summer vacation already. I know there's still a while to go yet, but there are so many places I want to visit and I can't decide! Takashi says I can pick, but he keeps looking at photo-journals of India on his computer, so I think we might go there.

What else? Well, I guess I didn't have as many updates as I thought! But mostly I want to ask you stuff, Tama-chan. What's your house like in France? Are there lots of people in it, or is it just a few staff like your house here? Is Eclair-sama taking care of you? Are you happy in France, Tama-chan?

Takashi says hi.

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: May 25th

Subject: Tamaki?

Okay, Tama-chan, now I'm worried. Please just let us know that you're doing okay.

I called Shima-san. She wouldn't give me your address or your phone number to call you. What's going on?

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Morinozuka Takashi

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: May 25th

Subject: (none)

Tamaki,

Mitsukuni is very worried about you. Please reply to his e-mails.

-Takashi

xxx

From: Suoh Tamaki

To: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

Date: May 26th

Subject: Bonjour, mes amis!

Hi Hani-senpai (and Mori-senpai, since I know you'll be reading this)!

Allow me to apologise – I certainly didn't intend to make you worry about me. There's just been so much to do since I got here, it's as if I haven't had a spare minute to myself. Also, should I still call you both senpai? We're not in the same school anymore, so you're not technically my upper-classmen. But calling you anything else feels strange. So I'm going to keep calling you both senpai! There's none of that here in France. I mistakenly called one of my tutors 'sensei' the first week I was here, and didn't I get a scolding for it!

Ah yes, my tutors. It was decided that I should have private tutors this year, since I only have a few months to go before university and I've already had to switch schools once – everyone said it would be easier for me to study from home rather than have to adjust to another new school. I learn so much, since there are no other students around to distract me. You're right about the buildings at Ouran being so pretty, Hani-senpai. French architecture can be beautiful, and somehow Ouran always reminded me a little of European buildings – it was nice to have that mix of Japanese and European cultures around me every day.

I'm glad to hear that you're both enjoying university life, and making lots of new friends. Sometimes I do miss the crowded hustle and bustle of Ouran's halls and cafeteria, but it's good for me to be studying alone. I'll be starting university in a few months, so I must be prepared. I must focus. I still have time for the things I enjoy – there's a beautiful piano in the house, and Eclair and I take daily walks around the grounds of the house. France is pretty in the spring. I'm looking forward to autumn too, though, when the leaves turn golden and the air is crisp.

Oh, but I didn't tell you the best part! Hani-senpai, my mother is here! I've seen her several times since I arrived, and I have plans to have lunch with her tomorrow. There's this adorable little cafe in town, not far from mother's apartment, and it's becoming one of my favourite places to go! You'd like it, Hani-senpai – they make these wonderful little madeleines, topped with heart-shaped strawberry slices! The cafe owner is such a friendly woman – I like to chat with her, because she knows all the town gossip! Even though I don't yet know most of the people she gossips about, it's still entertaining to hear her stories. And she has the cutest little daughter, six years old, whom she's teaching to bake so that she can work in the cafe too when she's old enough. It's adorable to see the little girl with flour smudges on her nose, hiding behind her mother because she's too shy to speak to the customers.

I should end it here, as Eclair is due home soon and I'm supposed to be finishing my History assignment for Mme Cloutier. I will endeavour to e-mail you again and keep you up to date on life here in France. I'm sure I can take some pictures of the house and grounds to send you. And of course, I want to hear all about your adventures at university!

And yes, Shima-san did forward your postcards to me.

Your friend,

Tamaki

xxx

From: Morinozuka Takashi

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: May 27th

Subject: (none)

Haruhi,

I'm glad you found the texts I sent you to be useful. I can forward you some relevant articles from the university's online archive too, if you like.

Mistukuni has finally had a reply from Tamaki. He seems lonely. You should e-mail him.

-Takashi

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: May 30th

Subject: Yay!

Tama-chan!

I'm so glad you finally replied! Yes, I do want to see pictures of where you live, and your piano, and the cafe and the town. Take lots of pictures! And it's great that you get to see your mom – I didn't know she lived near Eclair-sama. Did you know that before you left?

Have you heard from any of the others lately? Haru-chan says that everything's okay at school, but she doesn't go into details. Takashi and I are thinking about going home for a weekend visit to catch up with everyone. And Haru-chan might be visiting us! Takashi offered to take her on a tour of the university libraries and archives, so I said I'd take her shopping afterwards. I'm really looking forward to seeing her again!

Being tutored at home sounds – well, it's hard trying to imagine you studying without your Ouran uniform. Do you have a special room in your house for studying? Takashi says the school year in France is different to Japan, so I guess you'll be starting university a lot sooner than if you were still here. It must be hard to have to do a year's worth of work in half that time. I hope you do well, Tama-chan, but remember to take time to do the things you enjoy too.

I've attached some pictures of us from the college soccer game we watched a couple of days ago. I think Takashi enjoyed it more than the pictures make it seem. And don't you think I've gotten taller?

Write back soon, Tama-chan! I want to hear all about France!

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Suoh Tamaki

To: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

Date: June 15th

Subject: Photographs

Hi Hani-senpai (and Mori-senpai!)

I know it's been a while since my last e-mail, but I was trying to get plenty of photographs together to send to you. As you can see, the grounds of the house are quite extensive, so there were lots of things for me to take pictures of. Behind the house is a wood with lots of oak and birch trees – sometimes I imagine myself walking half a dozen dogs through the wood, first thing in the morning as the sun peeks through the trees – that would be fun, to have dogs to look after. I do hope Shima-san is taking good care of Antoinette for me. If you and Mori-senpai do go home for a weekend, maybe you could check on Antoinette?

What do you think of the house? Isn't it grand? We'll be having the wedding reception here. It's not for another year at least, but already there seems to be so much to plan. Eclair is always busy working on it – this week she's mailing our 'Save The Date' cards, which is the done thing now, before the actual invitations themselves go out, to give people a chance to clear their schedules.

Thank you for your pictures – you're right, you definitely have grown taller since I saw you last, Hani-senpai! And by the looks of it, you have so many friends there! Tell me, do the girls at your college adore you as much as the ones at Ouran did? I'll bet they do!

I asked Mme Marchand (the lady who runs the cafe) if she would share her madeleines recipe with me, but she says it's a family secret that she'll take to her grave. I'll keep trying, though, just for you, Hani-senpai. I did take a photograph of them – it's attached, along with the rest. Not the same as tasting one, I know, but don't they look delicious?

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Your friend,

Tamaki

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Morinozuka Takashi

Date: June 18th

Subject: Thanks

Hi Mori-senpai,

Thanks again for taking me to see the library. I didn't think anywhere could have a more impressive library than Ouran, but clearly I was wrong. I envy you, getting to study there.

You were right about second year at Ouran being intense. How did you keep up with everything while also having kendo practise and everything else? I'm spending all my spare time in the library and it doesn't feel like enough studying. Still, not long to go until summer vacation, huh?

I hope Hani-senpai's okay. Tell him Sunday afternoon's the best time to call, between three and five.

No, I haven't e-mailed Tamaki-senpai. Stop nagging me.

-Haruhi

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: June 24th

Subject: Catching up

Hi Tama-chan,

I need to find a bakery here that sells madeleines – those look delicious!

Takashi and I had our weekend visit back home – we decided to surprise Haru-chan, Hika-chan and Kao-chan. It was a lot of fun, and I think Haru-chan needed it. Takashi says she spends all her spare time studying, so it's important that she take some time off now and then and spend time with her friends, don't you think? Have you heard anything from Haru-chan? Or Kyo-chan? He didn't come with us this weekend – he wasn't answering his phone. Does he e-mail you? Haru-chan wouldn't talk about him when I asked. I guess I could ask Chika-chan and Satoshi-chan to keep an eye on him, but they're first-years so they don't see much of the third years. I know they see a lot of Haru-chan at school now – she says they even eat lunch with her sometimes. Isn't that great?

You're planning the wedding already? I have to admit, it's a little strange to think of you being married. Everyone seems to be growing up so fast this year. I heard Kyo-chan's already making a splash in the business world – did you hear about what happened with his dad's medical supplies company, right after you left? I don't know if he told you – I don't know if you're in touch with him at all, Tama-chan. No one says much about Kyo-chan lately.

Takashi and I are leaving for India at the end of July. There's still lots of planning and shopping and packing to do for it, but I'm already excited. Do you have plans for a summer vacation?

E-mail me back soon, Tama-chan!

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: July 9th

Subject: How are you?

Tama-chan, you've gone quiet again. Everything okay?

Our vacation starts in a couple of weeks and I don't know if we'll have much chance to e-mail once we're there, so I wanted to check in with you at least once before we leave. Please reply before the 20th, Tama-chan, so we know you're okay.

I've attached some pictures of our weekend visit home, and I also attached another document. Not a photo – well, not one that I took. It's from the newspaper – a picture of Kyo-chan at a charity gala evening. Did he tell you that he'd bought out one of his father's companies? I know I mentioned it in my last e-mail but I still don't know if you know the full story. Anyway, Kyo-chan's portfolio has been doing so well, but he's buying shares in other kinds of companies now – the gala was at a hotel, and apparently Kyo-chan's a major shareholder of that hotel now. And yes, that's Haru-chan in the picture with him.

Maybe you should e-mail Kyo-chan and get him to tell you the full story – he can explain the business stuff way better than I can. And I thought you might want to see the picture, since I'm sending you pictures of everyone else from the Host Club.

Let me know you're okay, Tama-chan.

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: July 18th

Subject: Tamaki!

Tamaki! We're leaving in three days. Don't make me get Takashi to intervene!

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Suoh Tamaki

To: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

Date: July 19th

Subject: Sorry!

Hello Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai,

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply. I've been visiting some of the businesses owned by the Tonnerre group, and I've been away from the main house for a few days. I did pick up your e-mail a while ago, but I haven't had time to sit and compose a proper reply. To be honest, I don't have much time right now, but since you were worried about me, I thought it best to let you know that I am fine, just busy busy busy!

Unfortunately I couldn't open the pictures you sent me – a problem with my computer, I assume. But I'm sure you guys had a fun weekend.

I hope you and Mori-senpai enjoy your vacation. Since you ask, Eclair and I are planning to spend two weeks in Italy with her parents – one week at their villa, then one week touring. I'm looking forward to it – I haven't been to Italy for such a long time!

Do tell me all about India when you get back.

Your friend,

Tamaki

xxx

From: Hitachin Hikaru+Karou

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: July 28th

Subject: Hi

Hi Tono,

It's been a while, we know. And I guess we ought to say sorry for leaving it so long, but then so should you. Four whole months without any contact? We thought maybe it was part of a deal, that you weren't allowed, but then Hani-senpai said he'd been in touch with you since May.

Well, Ouran is still there, still the same as ever. No Host Club, obviously. We thought about starting up a club of our own, but couldn't decide what to do. Any suggestions?

Tell us about France, Tono. We've only ever been to the cities – what's the French countryside like? Bet it soon gets boring – nothing but fields. How do you stand it?

H + K

xxx

From: Hitachin Kaoru

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: July 28th

Subject: Also...

Hi Tono,

Just Kaoru this time.

I know you had your reasons. And whatever they were, it's not up to us to decide whether they were right or wrong.

But there's some stuff I want you to know.

There's no Host Club. And that's hard on us. And it's not entirely your fault – we have to learn how to do this without you and without the Host Club. But it's partly your fault, because why should you get to decide that it's over? Why did you get to decide that we didn't need it anymore?

Anyway. We genuinely want to hear about France. We might be in Paris later this year, and it could be cool to meet up with you while we're there. Mom wants us to go with her for Fashion Week, and there's only so much 'being on our best behaviour' we can take!

-Kaoru

xxx

From: Suoh Tamaki

To: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

Date: August 4th

Subject: Apologies

Hello Hani-senpai,

I know you're still in India right now and you may not see this message until after you get back. But I feel like I need to say this now, to get it off my chest.

I know people are mad at me. I know I was cowardly, disappearing without saying goodbye. But if I'd stayed to explain, would that have made it easier?

My father was right: I'm practically an adult now, and I have responsibilities. And it was wrong of me to keep all of you from your responsibilities. If I'm to be the heir to the Suoh estate, and gain my grandmother's favour, I need to stop playing house with my friends and start thinking about making a real family.

It was wrong of me to keep Haruhi from her studies. I know that the rest of you made sacrifices too, and it shouldn't have been up to me to decide for you that the Host Club was more important than your family commitments. All of you. The time I've spent here in France has helped me realise this, along with messages I've received from Hikaru and Kaoru recently. My tutors, Eclair, my mother, they've all helped me to realise that I have responsibilities.

Do you think you could pass my apologies on to the others?

Regards,

-Tamaki

xxx

From: Hitachin Kaoru

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: August 8th

Subject: Paris, here we come!

Hey Tono!

It's all set – mom's taking us to Paris for Fashion Week next month. And I mean a whole week! I can't believe mom actually convinced your dad to let us have the whole week off from school! Actually, it's part of the deal she made with him that we have to see you while we're in France, so you can't say no. Mom's going to book you a room in our hotel for one night. It's up to you if you want to see any of the shows with us, or if you want to take off and do something else. I guess if you live in France then the tourist stuff doesn't really do it for you, but we definitely want to go shopping while we're there, so you could come with us for that. We want to buy gifts for Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai, since they've promised to bring us stuff back from India, and obviously we have to get something cute for Haruhi.

Can I tell you something about Haruhi, Tono? Some time after you left, Hikaru asked me if I'd be okay if he asked Haruhi out on a date. And I said I was fine with it. But he never asked her. Sometimes he looks at her like he's thinking about asking, but then he doesn't say anything. And Haruhi? Sometimes she looks at Hikaru and I swear it's like she's thinking about asking him. But she never does.

She asked to switch her assigned seat in class, so she could sit up front. So she could concentrate better. She still sounds like the same old Haruhi when we talk to her, but when we're not talking to her, it's like she switches off. She tries to make us think that all she wants to think about is school work. But I know that's not true. Did you know she went to a benefit evening with Kyouya-senpai? More than one, I think. And she went to visit Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai at the university a while back. Is that weird? That she's keeping stuff from us?

Do you e-mail Haruhi? Has she contacted you? I don't like not knowing what's going on.

-Kaoru

xxx

From: Suoh Tamaki

To: Hitachin Hikaru+Kaoru

Date: August 25th

Subject: Bonjour!

Hello Hitachins!

First of all, allow me to apologise for taking so long to reply to your e-mails. August has been a very busy month for me, what with planning the wedding, prepping for university and our vacation to Italy with Eclair's parents.

Please thank your mother for arranging a hotel room for me during Fashion Week, but I'm not sure I'll be able to make it. I'm supposed to enrol at university at the end of September, so every spare moment I have is taken up with studying. I appreciate the gesture; perhaps another time?

Regards,

-Tamaki

xxx

From: Suoh Tamaki

To: Hitachin Hikaru+Kaoru

Date: August 27th

Subject: Fashion Week

Okay, Hitachins, I'm not sure what exactly you two did, but my father has apparently had a very intense phone call with Eclair's parents. The outcome is a positive one for you, at least: I will be joining you in Paris for a day and a night, it seems. This means that I must spend every waking moment of the next few days studying to make up for the lost time. I hope you're happy.

-Tamaki

xxx

From: Hitachin Kaoru

To: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

Date: September 16th

Subject: Our trip to Paris

Hi Hani-senpai!

We saw Tono! Did he tell you we visited him in Paris? Mom took us for Fashion Week, and arranged with Chairman Suoh for us to visit Tamaki-senpai. He came on his own – didn't bring her, which we were glad about. I don't think I could have made it through the visit if we'd had to put up with her draping herself all over him every second.

He says he's happy with her. But only if you ask him directly. If you don't ask, he doesn't mention her at all. He talks for hours about the house and this pokey little town near where they live and the random people he meets there. I think not being in school must be driving him crazy. He doesn't mention anyone else his own age – just grown-ups. Weird, huh?

How was India? We got you guys souvenirs from Paris – you should visit again so we can give them to you.

I've attached some pictures from our trip to Paris. Hikaru's developed a thing for cravats. They look dumb if you ask me, but it means you can tell which one is him in the photographs.

-Kaoru

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Hitachin Kaoru

Date: September 17th

Subject: re: Our trip to Paris

Hi Kao-chan!

How's Hika-chan? I'm glad you guys had fun in Paris, and I'm so glad you guys got to see Tama-chan! You look like you were having a great time in the pictures. Although Tama-chan looks so grown-up – does he dress like that all the time now? He looks so much older when he's wearing a suit than what I remember. Or maybe it's just because we haven't seen him for a while.

We're going to visit the weekend after next, if I can drag Takashi away from the library. I've already told Haru-chan. I e-mailed Kyo-chan about it too, but no reply – if you see him, tell him we're visiting. It'd be great to talk to him again and catch up on everything from the last few months. Has he changed his phone number?

India was amazing! I'd tell you about it here, but I want to wait until we see you – we have so many stories! And souvenirs too!

I'll call you next week so we can make plans.

Takashi says hi to you both!

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: September 17th

Subject: re: Apologies

Hi Tama-chan,

Wow. I'm honestly not sure if you're apologising for the right things. It's hard to talk about this stuff in an e-mail. Especially since I don't know what contact you have with the others. Have you had any contact with Haru-chan or Kyo-chan at all since you left?

I'm glad you got to see the twins in Paris. Kaoru sent me the pictures. It looked like a fun trip. Were you happy spending time with the twins?

I know you're about to start college, and you're going to be busy. I want to ask if you'd be able to come visit us when you get a break, but I don't know when that will be. Christmas? New Year's?

We all miss you, Tama-chan. I don't know if anyone's actually said it to you, but we do.

Takashi says hi.

Let us know you're okay.

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: September 17th

Subject: Visit

Hi Haru-chan!

Since I'm e-mailing everyone else, I thought I'd e-mail you too, mostly just to say hi. I've told Kao-chan and Hika-chan about our visit – it's going to be fun seeing you all again, and we brought back souvenirs from India for you and your dad.

Will you ask Kyo-chan if he'll come with us? I know you talk to him often – it seems like you're the only one who does now. Tama-chan hasn't mentioned him once in all the e-mails I've had from him. It's like we only know about Kyo-chan from the newspapers now. We saw the picture of the two of you at the theatre last week – you looked so grown-up in a tux! I thought you'd have looked cutest in an evening gown, but Takashi disagrees. And now he says that I shouldn't be saying this in my e-mail, but it's my e-mail! And Takashi should stop reading my e-mails over my shoulder and write his own!

We'll talk more when we see you next weekend. I can't wait!

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Morinozuka Takashi

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: September 17th

Subject: (none)

Haruhi,

I have some books to give you when we see you next week.

The tuxedo looked good.

-Takashi

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

Date: September 18th

Subject: re: Visit

Hi Hani-senpai,

I'll ask Kyouya if he wants to come along, but don't expect anything from him. If nothing else, I'm fairly certain he already has plans for the weekend.

See you next week,

-Haruhi

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: Semptember 30th

Subject: Updates and pictures

Hi Tama-chan,

I know, I know, you're busy with college. I hope you'll enjoy it, and get to make lots of new friends there. When you get a chance, please e-mail and tell us all about it. I know Takashi wants to know how you're doing.

We got to visit everyone last week, which was so much fun! We had lunch with **everyone**, then went to Hika-chan and Kao-chan's house to watch movies. Haru-chan and Kyo-chan had to leave early, but it was still good to see them both. I think it's the first time we've seen Kyo-chan since Takashi and I left for university. Have you heard anything from him yet?

India was amazing! It was so peaceful, and we took some great photographs – I've attached some for you to look at, along with some photos from our weekend visit. Don't you think Haru-chan looks cute in all of them?

We got you something from India, but I want to send it straight to you instead of having Shima-san forward it on. Will you let us know your address in France?

E-mail back soon!

Takashi says hi.

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Suoh Tamaki

To: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

Date: October 4th

Subject: re: Updates and pictures

Hello Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai,

You're right, I have been busy with college. It's been something of an adventure, really – so many new people to meet, so much to learn! The courses I'm taking are intense, but it's all about preparing for my MBA, so the hard work is worth it. Good thing I'm as smart as I am, eh? And I know my father will be proud of me when I graduate. It was good of him to allow the Hitachins time off to visit Paris. I really hope he can make it out here for the wedding in April.

Your photographs from India really are beautiful. I can see why Mori-senpai wanted to go there. Perhaps I'll talk to Eclair about adding India to the itinerary for our honeymoon.

I won't bother sending you any photos of my university building. It's a very modern one, nothing like Ouran. But because I'm commuting from the estate, I have a beautiful drive there every morning. I even have my French driver's licence now, so some mornings I get to drive there myself and see the beautiful French countryside. Autumn is well and truly here, and it's as beautiful as I remember. Not only that, but it means winter is just around the corner – perfect weather for huddling up under warm blankets drinking tea! And of course, Christmas in France is so beautiful! Do you and Mori-senpai have plans for Christmas and New Year? You must tell me all about it!

I hope everyone else is well. And Shima-san won't mind forwarding packages to me.

Your friend,

-Tamaki

xxx

From: Morinozuka Takashi

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: October 6th

Subject: (none)

Haruhi,

He's clearly having a terrible time in France. Please say you'll contact him.

-Takashi

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Morinozuka Takashi

Date: October 6th

Subject: re:

Mori-senpai,

What am I supposed to say to him?

-Haruhi

xxx

From: Morinozuka Takashi

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: October 6th

Subject: re: re:

Haruhi,

Anything is better than nothing at all.

-Takashi

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Morinozuka Takashi

Date: October 7th

Subject: E-mail

Mori-senpai,

Okay, I want to. But I don't know where to start. It's been, what, seven months? He's e-mailed you guys and the twins, but not me and not Kyouya. What am I supposed to take from that? Knowing that he's happy to tell you guys about his life in France, but not us?

Help me out here.

-Haruhi

xxx

From: Morinozuka Takashi

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: October 8th

Subject: re: E-mail

Haruhi,

Be honest with him. Someone has to. And he hasn't told us anything about his life in France. Not really.

-Takashi

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Morinozuka Takashi

Date: October 8th

Subject: re: re: E-mail

Mori-senpai,

Honest? You might regret saying that. I probably will. He certainly will.

-Haurhi

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Morinozuka Takashi

Date: October 8th

Subject: re: re: E-mail

And where do I even start? "Hi Tamaki-senpai, how's France? Hope the weather's nice. By the way, do you know what a mess you left behind you?" Yeah, that'd work.

-Haruhi

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Morinozuka Takashi

Date: October 8th

Subject: re: re: E-mail

I think I need to take a day or two to plan what I have to say. I keep staring at the blank screen and I don't know where to begin.

-Haruhi

xxx

From: Morinozuka Takashi

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: October 8th

Subject: re: re: E-mail

Haruhi,

Stop procrastinating.

-Takashi

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: October 8th

Subject: (none)

Hello Tamaki-senpai,

I don't know when you'll actually get this e-mail. I've had this screen open since just after dinner, but I've been staring at it for hours and now it's nearly midnight. Dad stopped telling me to go to bed ages ago – he's given up. I keep thinking I should.

I thought I was done being angry. I mean, it's been months. We're all getting on with our lives. This school year's really hard – even though I have so much more free time now, I'm studying so much to keep my grades up. I'm focused. I don't know how I'd manage if I had any club activities.

Okay, that's not true. If I had club activities, I'd make time for them. Because that's the biggest lesson I learned last year. It's important to have goals and responsibilities, but not at the expense of everything else. To think about what I want to do for me, as well as what I want to do for others.

Last year was tough – it drove me crazy. But it was fun. I got to do things I never even dreamed I'd do. And I know I'm a better person because of it. We all are. So part of my anger is at myself, for starting to slip back into old habits. For spending almost every evening studying because if I didn't, what else do I have to do with my time now? Join another club?

I'm going to end it here. I have tons more I want to say to you, but if I start now I'll just keep going for pages and pages, and it really is getting late here. I guess I'll leave it up to you, senpai. If you e-mail me back, then maybe we can have a conversation of sorts. If not, then I'll just leave it there. You can delete this e-mail, or whatever.

-Haruhi

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Morinozuka Takashi

Date: October 9th

Subject: re: re: E-mail

I did it. Happy now?

-Haruhi

xxx

From: Morinozuka Takashi

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: October 9th

Subject: re: re: E-mail

Yes. Now go to bed.

-Takashi

xxx

From: Suoh Tamaki

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: October 13th

Subject: Hello

Hello, Haruhi,

Thank you for your e-mail. It's good to hear from you after all this time. I'm sorry I didn't contact you before now.

Actually, there's a lot that I'm sorry for. Is it too late to apologise? For leaving you all without any explanation. For the trouble I caused, with the Host Club. I'm sorry, Haruhi. I've wanted to tell you all I'm sorry for months now. But just thinking about any of you was hard enough. I felt like the best thing to do for all of us was just to get on with my new life and let you all get back to your lives. Besides, what could I have said back then? Did you want the trivialities of my life here? Chatting about the weather? The things that happened, they were too big to discuss in an e-mail or a letter, but the things I could have said, they were too small to mean anything.

I'd like us to stay in touch now, though. I think I'd like to hear what you're all getting up to. It's been nice to have e-mails and postcards from Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai, and even seeing the Hitachins in Paris was fun. So tell me, Haruhi. Tell me what's happening at school, and tell me about your classes, and tell me how your father is. Tell me what hijinks the twins have been up to! I can tell you about my university courses. And my mother! Haruhi, did you know my mother's here? She has an apartment in the town, and she works as an au-pair for a family that the Tonnerres are friends with. I get to see her at least once a week, and we have tea in this quaint little cafe. We had a lot of catching up to do at first, obviously, and I've told her all about you and the Host Club. She's glad that I had friends in Japan.

I'd really like for us to stay in touch, Haruhi. Can we do that?

Yours,

-Tamaki

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: October 15th

Subject: re: Hello

Tamaki,

I'm not exactly sure where to start.

Okay. First, it's not too late to apologise. Although I think you don't really understand what it is you should apologise for. We get that you were following your grandmother's orders. I get the whole arranged-marriage, family heir thing. I don't like it, but I understand that it's part of your life. What I don't get is why you of all people would just go along with it. I mean, when do you let other people decide your life for you? You spent a year or more telling us to figure out what we wanted from life and to go for it, then all of a sudden you leave us to play house with a woman you just met, because someone else told you to? What else are you getting out of this deal, Tamaki-senpai? What was so important that you could just drop us all like that?

And do you know what you left us with? For one thing, everyone still thinks I'm a guy. I thought, if the Host Club closed and my debt was paid in full, that I could start being honest with everyone. But then I realised, there is no good way to tell everyone that I've been lying for the past year. So now I'm stuck pretending for the rest of my time at Ouran. I mean, I prefer the boys' uniform, but it means I'm still watching everything I say to people, in case I let it slip. That's going to be three years of my life watching every little thing I say and do, and for what?

You know, every time I think I'm done being angry, somehow I find that it's still there inside. So I'm going to stop for now, because I don't like feeling like this. Maybe I'll be able to write more tomorrow.

-Haruhi

xxx

From: Suoh Tamaki

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: October 16th

Subject: re: re: Hello

Haruhi,

Thank you for not ignoring me, for taking the time to write back. Since you say it's not too late, then I'll apologise again for making you feel angry. That was never my intention.

You asked what I'm getting out of this deal. It was never about what I would get. It was about the rest of you. It was about making up for all the times I inconvenienced you, and all the things you all sacrificed to make the Host Club a success. It was a wonderful time, but it couldn't last. We all had to move on, eventually. Now you can focus on your studies without worrying that we're invading your time. It's true, I get to spend time with my mother now, and when I have my MBA my father and grandmother will be proud of me, and the Suoh estate will have an heir. But that's not why I did it. This was my sacrifice for you all. I wanted you all to be happy, and I still do.

I realise there's not much I can do from halfway around the world, but if there was anything I could do to make you happy, Haruhi, I would do it in an instant.

Please believe me.

-Tamaki

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: October 17th

Subject: re: re: re: Hello

Tamaki,

You want us to be happy? What a crock.

If you wanted us to be happy, you'd have stayed. If you cared, you'd have contacted us before now, instead of waiting for Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai to nag you into e-mailing them. You'd give someone your address instead of making us go through Shima-san or sending e-mails that we didn't know if you were even bothering to read. You say one thing and mean another, and that's not like you.

And I get it now. It's not about what you've said, is it? It's about everything you haven't said. And that's why you haven't contacted Kyouya-senpai. Why you haven't asked about him once in all this time.

It took him a couple of months before he could talk about you too.

The first week of school, after you left, I actually went up to the club room after class. I did it without thinking – just walked on up there. I got to the door and realised what I'd done, but I opened it anyway. I didn't expect anyone else to be there. The twins had gone straight home after class, and Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai were probably at kendo club. I figured since the room was going to be empty, that I could study in peace for an hour or so. But Kyouya was in there. He said the same, that he wanted a quiet room to get some work done. But he hadn't typed a single thing on his laptop. We started spending time there regularly – studying at first, but then we got to talking. I guess you must have heard what he did, buying out his dad's medical supplies company before the Tonnerre group did. Did you know he gave the company back to his dad straight after?

We started going out for coffee once a week, and he tried to explain to me about investment portfolios and everything. I still don't claim to understand it properly, but I did understand when he told me about the types of company he's invested in. He started out with the companies that make the packaging for the supplies – companies that his dad would never pay attention to – but they were stable, and it allowed him to raise enough funds to start moving up. I told him not to tell me how much money he made – I don't think I'd be able to wrap my head around it. But he told me that it didn't satisfy him. He said anyone could make money, and if he made his from the same industry that his father and brothers worked in, then he'd never truly make it on his own. I don't need to tell you why that's important to him, do I?

He continued investing. Hotels, casinos, theatres, nightclubs. He didn't have to explain why he picked those kinds of places. It's in the things you don't say, after all.

And then the invitations started coming in, for galas and grand openings, at all the places he owned shares in. And yes, I went to some with him. I guess I wanted to see if any of it made him happy. If you talk to Hikaru and Kaoru, they'll probably tell you that Kyouya's been pining away, regressing to his cold Shadow King self, but it's not true. I've seen him happy, Tamaki-senpai. I've seen him look around a hotel, at a hundred people eating fancy food and drinking champagne, and even if he didn't touch a drop of it himself, he was smiling at it all. When I asked him why he was smiling, he told me it was because everyone in that place was having a good time. Do I need to tell you why that made him happy?

I know it's not enough for him, though. Because I know the things he doesn't say. Nearly two whole months before he mentioned your name, Tamaki. And when he did, it was by accident, when he was telling me a story about something the twins had done. I think he realised it too, because he actually stopped talking, mid-sentence. The Shadow King, caught off-guard, and he did it to himself.

If you're actually going to go ahead with this plan of going to business school, then I'm sure you read the financial papers. Has the name K.O. made it to the European news yet? I'm sure you're following his career, even if you haven't contacted him directly.

It'd be easy for me to update you on everything Kyouya does. But I won't. That's up to you and him. You're both stubborn. I guess I am too. After all, I could have contacted you myself once I knew Hani-senpai was in touch with you, but I didn't. Maybe we're all as bad as each other. But come on, this is Kyouya. He's not going to give in. Are you going to be the bigger man, Tamaki-senpai?

If you want to make me happy, Tamaki, then you know what I want.

-Haruhi

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: November 1st

Subject: Tamaki?

Hi Tama-chan,

No one's heard from you for a while. Haru-chan told me she e-mailed you. She said she got angry, and she's sorry if she upset you.

There isn't really much to update you on. College is still fun, although I can't wait for the winter break and New Year! Takashi and I will be going home for New Year, so maybe we'll get to see Haru-chan and the others.

You never told me much about your trip to Italy. Did you get any good photos? I'd like to see them.

Let us know how you're doing! And of course, Takashi says hi!

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Suoh Tamaki

To: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

Date: November 2nd

Subject: Bonjour!

Hello Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai,

I'm sorry I've been out of touch for a while. Haruhi did e-mail me, and I guess I've just had a lot of thinking to do. Please give her my apologies, and tell her I'll be in touch again soon. Eclair and I have been planning our honeymoon – a tour of Europe – so in addition to my usual college classes, I've been taking some extra language tuition at home. Plus, of course, we've had clothes fittings. Eclair won't tell me about her dress, but my suit is in ivory and gold, so I can only guess that her dress is too. We still haven't selected a patisserie to make the wedding cake yet – maybe you could help us? I could send you photos!

I've attached some photos from our vacation, and some from a weekend break we took to the Cote d'Azur.

Your friend,

-Tamaki

xxx

From: Suoh Tamaki

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: November 10th

Subject: Bonjour, Haruhi

Hello Haruhi,

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. Funny, isn't it, that all my e-mails seem to start with an apology. Your last e-mail gave me a lot to think about. And I appreciate your honesty.

I'm happy that Kyouya is doing well, and that the two of you have remained such good friends. It means a lot to me that the two of you choose to spend time together now, outside of school. I guess that's one good thing that came out of the Host Club.

Honestly, I knew that someone had bought that company out from under the Tonnerre group, but at the time I suppose I didn't really pay much attention to who it was. I really should start paying more attention to the financial news, especially if I'm to be heir to the Suoh estate.

I'm glad to know that Kyouya has found his direction. I always knew he'd succeed in his own way, beyond the plans of the Ohtori Group. Could you tell him that I'm happy for him?

Regards,

-Tamaki

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: November 12th

Subject: re: Bonjour Haruhi

Tamaki-senpai,

I won't pass messages on for you. If you want to tell Kyouya-senpai something, you have to tell him yourself. And before you do, I suggest you re-read my last e-mail. The things you don't say, remember?

-Haruhi

xxx

From: Fujioka Haruhi

To: Morinozuka Takashi

Date: November 12th

Subject: Tamaki

Hi Mori-senpai,

Tamaki's probably going to e-mail Hani-senpai soon to ask him to pass on a message to Kyouya-senpai. I've already told him that he needs to talk to Kyouya himself, but you know Tamaki. Could you please ask Hani-senpai to back me up on this?

Thanks,

-Haruhi

xxx

From: Suoh Tamaki

To: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

Date: November 15th

Subject: Kyouya

Hi Hani-senpai (and Mori-senpai),

I suppose Haruhi's told you that we're e-mailing each other now. I'd say 'regularly', but that's not quite the case. Still, we are in contact now. Clearing the air, you could say.

I wonder if you could pass on a message to Kyouya for me? Please tell him that I'm pleased to hear that his company is doing well, and that I'm glad that he and Haruhi have become such close friends, and that they get to spend time together outside of school. Given how busy they both are, it's important that they have someone to talk to and confide in. It makes me happy to know that they have each other.

Thank you.

Your friend,

-Tamaki

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Suoh Tamaki

Date: November 16th

Subject: re: Kyouya

Hi Tama-chan,

I think it's great that you want to be in touch with Kyouya, but I think it's best if you tell him yourself. Do you still have his personal e-mail address?

-Mitsukuni

xxx

From: Morinozuka Takashi

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: November 16th  
>Subject: (none)<p>

Haruhi,

You were right about Tamaki. Also, he seems to think you and Kyouya are dating. You might want to correct him.

-Takashi

xxx

From: Hitachin Hikaru+Kaoru

To: Haninozuka Mitsukuni, Morinozuka Takashi, Fujioka Haruhi, Ohtori Kyouya

Date: December 1st

Subject New Year party!

Hey guys!

Mom's throwing her annual New Year's Eve party, and you're all invited! Clear your schedules! Pull your party clothes out of the closet! And prepare to have fun!

-H + K

xxx

December 5th

Dear Tamaki,

I'm not sure how long it will take for this letter to reach you. But I do know you'll be wondering why I bothered with a letter, on actual paper, when an e-mail would have reached you so much faster.

The truth is, I've written so many e-mails to you. And each and every one is still in the drafts folder of my account, unsent. Because it's so easy to delete what you've typed. But a hand-written letter is much harder to to strike through. And this way, I know you're more likely to read it. An e-mail, you could so easily delete without ever opening it. But I know you'll have stood in the hallway with the envelope in your hand, looking at the handwriting, and the postmark, and I know you won't be able to bring yourself to throw it away. Your curiosity will get the better of you, and you'll take it to your room, lock the door, sit at your desk and open it. I'm right, aren't I?

Where do I begin? With the conversation I had with Mori-senpai yesterday, when he told me that you seem to be under the impression that Haruhi and I are dating? Or with the day you left us? Do I start from there? Is that even really the beginning of all of this?

I could be logical and relate the events that have happened since you left, in chronological order. I'm sure that's what you expect from me. But I don't think that's who I am anymore.

Maybe I should start there, with who I am right now. Except I'm not even sure of that. Funny, isn't it?

Before I met you, I knew who I was. Because people made so sure to remind me, every day. Third son of the Ohtori family. You know this story, Tamaki, so I won't repeat it. You know that I realised I wanted something more. What I didn't know, what I'm still figuring out, is that I don't have to decide immediately what it is I want. I can take my time, try different things until I find what suits me. So I suppose that's what I've been doing. Oh, I know what I'm capable of, and what I'm good at. What I'm still working on is which path I want to take. Which picture I want to paint for myself, if you want a more colourful metaphor. I could have made my own fortune investing in the types of company my father owns – I even tried it, which I'm sure you know, and perhaps I ought to apologise to your fiancée for buying out one of the companies her father had planned to acquire. But I realised that, if I went that route, then I'd still be living in my father's world. So I asked myself, what would give me the most pleasure? Getting one over on my father was amusing, but afterwards, it felt like such an empty victory. That's why I gave it back to him. And I'm sure you're having a hard time believing that I actually thought about my own pleasure. But I have my moments of selfishness. And I realised, over the past year, that there was something that made me happy.

So that's what I see when I study my investment portfolio. I see places that make other people happy. I don't just see the numbers or the rise and fall – I see the places where people can go to have a good time, to be entertained. And I know that, in a way, I'm responsible for their happiness.

I think that's who I want to be. But I don't know for certain. For the past nine months, I'm not sure I've been certain of anything. Because before, I was only certain of one thing; that every single thing I did outside of school and the Ohtori group, was about you.

About you. Not for you, which is something different. About you. Keeping you in line, keeping you from bankrupting the club, keeping you from terrifying Haruhi. That was my role. The one thing that only I could do. And for the past nine months, that's been taken away from me.

I can see my long-term happiness in my company. I can see the name I'm making for myself in the world. But day-to-day, right now? I can't see what it is that would make me happy. Because you left.

You decided to be responsible, and practical, and you actually started to think about working towards something yourself, and everything fell apart.

I know Haruhi's told you that we've been spending time together outside of school. She doesn't know that it was at my father's suggestion. Maybe he's more insightful than I gave him credit for, encouraging me to court a girl who masquerades as a boy. Read into that what you will, Tamaki. But Haruhi and I are not dating. We socialise, and it benefits me to be seen at certain events with a companion. I do genuinely enjoy her company. But that's all.

I want to tell you I'm happy. Call it spite, call it...I don't know, maybe I'm trying to reassure myself as much as anything else. I think I could be. But there's always a 'what if?' Just like three years ago, and 'what if I wasn't the third son?'

I've talked to Hani-senpai. I know you have some 'what if's of your own. Do I dare ask you what they are?

Perhaps it's best not to. After all, I understand completely if you choose not to reply to this letter. But I want to think that you've read it, at least, and that you understand.

You have my home address, if you choose to reply. Shima-san won't give me yours, so I'm trusting that she has forwarded this to you. If you reply in kind, you could tell it to me yourself.

And Antoinette is doing just fine in Shima-san's care.

Yours,

Kyouya

xxx

From: Haninozuka Mitsukuni

To: Fujioka Haruhi

Date: January 5th

Subject: New Year's

Hi Haru-chan!

Takashi and I are back at college now, which is kind of sad – I miss you all already! The Hitachin party was so much fun! I made sure to take lots of pictures, and I've attached a few to this e-mail. It was great seeing you all again, although I was sad that Kyo-chan wasn't there. Still, you had a good time, right?

We might not get to visit for a couple of months at least, so be sure to e-mail us regularly in the meantime, okay?

I've attached another picture from New Year, but not one from our party. It's one that Tama-chan sent me from France. He's sent me lots of pictures of the house and the town, but I think this is the first one he's sent of himself. He looks so happy in it, don't you think? And Kyo-chan too.

Do you think maybe Tama-chan will move back to Japan now? He could enrol at college in the spring when Kyo-chan does. Takashi says I shouldn't ask him that just yet.

Wish your dad happy new year from us!

-Mitsukuni

xxx

END


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